Januar 31, 2008

Our newezt song: Gogo Gogolina !

- Mat Gundo reportz- Dearezt readerz, anda meanwhile also listenerz!
'Go go Gogolina / You are my pixel girl / You are on my blue screen / Riding my limousina // If I push enter / You appear in the center / If I push exit / No longer you are on the backseat / Of my limousina, Gogolina! /
These are firzt lines anda chorus of GoGo Gogolina song, so you can sing with us! We mada thiz song because Gogolina is also Uribistan-Girl from birth anda she bringz us lotz of good ideas anda music, anda we are happy we found her back anda she found us! Yes, now, after while, I even remember her from long ago dayz in golden Uribi childhoodtimez! Ofcourse we try to make influence on her brotha Gogol, only in the last yearz he came out of Uribistan Lowlandz, anda has some back-behind-the-wall-and-the-woodz-ideaz, to say that marriage wit Ma-Fia-Clan of Tzjop family is total bullshit. Meanwhile the Uribi Female Liberation Army (UFLA) takez care of Gogolina. We hope she likez our song, it is in Uribi Electropunk style, also lida endless ambiant. Anda we hope Gogolina will giva us more good songz anda storiez in the future! Enjoy it!

Januar 29, 2008

Sorry readerz, this is Private Hour for Gogolina!

- Mat Gundo reportz - Dearezt Readerz anda dearezt Gogolina! Sorry Mo, sorry Herrmann, sorry Murat, sorry Incredible Blogbeing, anda also beg your pardon dear readerz! Thiz is not an article lika otha articlez on The Daily, but is a kind of consultationing for Miss Gogolina. It is very private. So, if you don't lika to read this, just hear our Uribi songz anda vote for them! Don't forget: support us at the Eurovision Festival, anda make Eurythmic Emmy great song in, for example, next Eurythmix Conference in Dornach (CH)!
So - dear Gogolina, thanx a lot for your commentz and the nice picturez from your happy youth timez. Yes, reading your nice commentz I'm also tensed lika twenty umbrellas! Thanx also for the songz, now I can hear them too. But: don't listen to your brother Gogolo, don't marry the bastard he searched for you! He is a member of the Tzjop clan. You know, how they are! And all those rites, you speak about: it's not Highlandz way, but old fashioned Lowlandz. The guy your brotha Gogolo found for you, well, you can find him in the baddest villidj barz (for our readerz, on Terra Canaillo you can read more about thiz barz!). I hava good suggestion for you to come out of this: livin' in the Uribi lowlandz, there is the hardworking family of the Plukz clan. There are four brotha, all single, working togetha in same factory. Just lead your brother to believe in, you are choosing one of them, he will be happy with it. On the road to them, the Uribi Female Liberation Army (UFLA), can help you with otha name, dizappearing, till your brotha knowz you are independent anda free person. We hava for you a good work in Hamasheyk Institute - it is with bio-energetical water-research, interested? I give you picz of the brotha Plukz here, so you can choose anda giva pic to your brotha:

On the left is Riko Plukz, the youngest, makez the practical thingiez in the factory, he is chief outside. He loves the land and is learning now some mumbo djumbo on the local shaman school. He is lida bit religious and prays a lot to Saint Eloi of the Lower Midlandz Mountainz. But caution: I don't believe he loves women, if your brotha knowz this, well... Midleft you can see Ukil Plukz. Ukil is very punctual, very strict in working, but lida bit strange anda perverz. He pickz in his nose, fingersnipping boogerz in his office, lida bit slimy, anda having picz of nude women between his documentz. Jela Plukz, in the mid-right, only thinkz about money anda commerce, a boring person. One time he comes out very big, he says. Only funny after 5 th glass of Tabili Hot Water, 45 %. If he left a place, he goes back five timez for inspection. He is a neurotic. Tamuk Plukz, right, is very proud of being the quickest typewriter in Uribistan. Tamuk Plukz is lida bit shy, but more anda more he is becoming a real womenizer. He is the upcoming star in the Plukz factory and in society life in the Hamasheyk surroundingz. I thinka one of them is very good alibi for you. Overstreamingz, by the way, in a few dayz you can hear the Gogo Gogolina song!

Januar 28, 2008

Remembering Suleika anda new inspiration: Gogo Gogolina !

- Mat Gundo reportz - Dearezt readerz! If you're good reader of us, you also read commentz. In the commentz to the article about his book, written by our djerman administrator Herrmann The Fuck Finkelsteen himself (thiz is his nickname here in the Daily staff, not only for writing thiz .... book - no commentz!) you can find letterz from good girl Gogolina, also witha nice picz included. She is kind of family from Murat, but the pic she send, was for me, in fact only for me, but ofcourse everybody has seen it! Well, I mada new song for here: Gogo Gogolina! It will appear in next dayz on The Daily. Otha thingie: for you Gogolina, anda for all readerz I put pic here from me as very very young boy playing the electric guitar anda my long ago Uribi girlfriend Sulaika playing drumz. We called us the I Titani, giving honor to the giantz living in old timez in the Uribi Highlandz. Here I mada firzt musical experience with Sulaika anda ofcourse with guitar. I explored all heightz and hidden topicz of guitarplaying with her. We did it everywhere: on the ceiling, in the kitchen, on the floor, in the bathroom, in the dining room, in the fieldz, in the lift, in a bakery, even in the car, yes, in every place we played a lot of music. Here is a pic from me and her, learning how to play, with lida bit humid eyez I rememba thiz... Overstreamingz!

Januar 24, 2008

64% unserer LeserInnen wollen die Druckkosten übernehmen

Ich muss sagen ich bin gerührt. Der Finanzierung meiner Kurznovelle scheint jetzt nichts mehr im Weg zu stehen. Natürlich könnten wir meine Novelle hier in einer unseren effektiven Kinderdruckerei billig herstellen lassen. Wollen Sie das? Nein Sie haben sich bereit erklärt mehr zu zahlen. Warum? Weil es Ihnen wichtig ist diese Novelle zu lesen, Sie wollen diese Worte förmlich in sich aufsaugen und natürlich würden Sie sich schämen , wenn Ihre Freunde herausfinden würden, dass Sie ein Buch lesen würden, das von 10 Jährigen hergestellt worden ist. Stellen Sie sich vor Sie würden in Ihrem Bekanntenkreis als Kinderarbeitförderer dastehen. Schnell würden Sie im sozialen Abseits stehen. Das wollen wir nicht!
Doch wer von Ihnen liebe LeserInnen kennt jemand, der mein Buch günstig drucken kann? Natürlich könnten wir es auch so machen, dass ich die Bücher drucken lasse und Sie die Druckrechnung durch 11 teilen lasse.
Wir machen es einfach so. Jeder kann ein Buch bestellen und bezahlt soviel wie er kann und wenn er nicht kann, dann kann er oder sie halt nicht (Karma). Diejenigen, welche die Druckkosten übernehemen wollten, dürfen einfach etwas mehr überweisen.
Erster öffentlicher Auszug aus der Novelle:
" Ein gutes Gewissen hatte er nie, wenn es mal wieder soweit war.
Er war durch diesen Mittag in der Schweinebucht durch und durch sexualisiert. Seine Frau hatte sich unerreichbar von seiner Seite entfernt, was den körperlichen Kontakt zwischen ihnen betraf. Vielleicht sollte er sich scheiden lassen, dachte er.
Die Sonne tauchte die kleine Hafenstadt in ein goldenes Licht. Die Farben hatten die gleiche Intensität wie ein Hollywoodfilm aus den 70er Jahren. Er stieg durch die Stadt zu diesem unauffälligen Bordell am Rande der Stadt hinauf. Dieter war protestantisch. Ein Freund schlug ihm einmal lachend auf die Schultern, als er sich wieder einmal selbst ins Gewissen biss, dass die Katholoiken wenigstens von der Schuldfrage befreit werden könnten, doch die Protestanten Schuld um Schuld auf sich luden bis zum Jüngsten Tag."
S.31 aus: " Ein Tag in der Schweinebucht" von Herrmann Finkelsteen.

Gerne freue ich mich auf Ihre Bestellungen. Schreiben Sie an uribistanembassy@gmx.net Ihre Adresse auf oder Ihre Druckerei, welche die Novelle umsonst druckt. Natürlich erhalten alle Uribistan Daily LeserInnen ein Autogrammisiertes Exemplar mit einer Geruchsprobe unseres neuen Herrenparfums, hergestellt von AOEA, die übrigens eine wunderschöne Bilder Ausstellung auf Ihrer Seite hat.
Ihr Sie herzlich grüssender Herrmann Finkelsteen

Januar 22, 2008

Eurythmic Emmy - we put a new version, second take!

EXTRA: after the heavy storm in our beloved Highlandz, we maka second take of the song, we publish it here - just hear it, this mindblowing adventure with Emmy in Dornachtown! Ofcourse this is also made with our primitive Uribi equipment.. Overstreamingz to all of you!

-Mat Gundo reports - Dearezt Readerz! Thank you very much for supporting our effortz for The Eurovision Songfestival! The Uribistan Daily became a lot of e-mails from peoplez saying thanx, weeping anda will vote for us at the contest! Today I maka lida blues about Eurythmic Emmy. Yearz ago she was studying eurythmix in Dornach. But, you can hear the story! It was made very quick on a very primitive Uribi Highland equipment, it is not perfect, the guitarplayer made a lida mistake, and on another moment I couldn't here the music so well, that I came a second to late in the entry (to much heavy storm in the Highlandz). It's a very rough take. But we had a lot of fun to do it! Ofcourse this song is ment to be for all my anthropsfy-girlfriendz in the whole world and for all the anthropsfy-fanz of The Daily! Overstreamingz!!

Januar 17, 2008

The Uribistan Contribution to The Eurovision Songfestival 2008 !

- mo slim speaks - Dear readers of The Uribistan Daily! Dear fans of the Free anda EverYoung Republic of Uribistan! I'm weeping! I'm crying! This part of me which is Uribisoul, is so happy and proud about our contribution to the Eurovision Songfestival 2008 ! Here, on Radio Uribistan, you can hear the first take of it. Mat Gundo, he loves his country - and wenn he sings about it, our hearts are beating faster! This is the real stuff for all patriotic men and heroes! We will winn this Contest! We will receive the maximum points from: Lettland, Lituvia, Estland, Polonia, Ungaria, Czechia, Slowakia, Slowenia, Bosnia, Kroatia, Serbia, Bulgaria, Greece, Zyprus, Turkey, Moldavia, White-Russia, Ukraina, Russia, Rumenia, Albania, Turkey, Israel, Kazakstan, Azarbeidzjan, Kirgizia, Armenia, Georgia, Tschetschenia, anda ofcourse from the people in Djermanistan!! Mat Gundo sang, mixed and shaped this song with a very primitive equipment in a little cabin in the Highlands. The song begins with shamanic sounds, and it ends with some words in classical Uribi - in between you can hear Mat's love declaration to Uribistan and ofcourse to the Uribi women! Mat, just make it! And, dear listener, don't forget: copy this song and put in on your site, just support Uribistan! At least, if you play it: PLAY IT LOUD !!

Januar 16, 2008

Damals 1973.........

Unsere Lehrerin Frau Lehmann, hatte am Samstag noch 1 Eintrittskarte für einen Winnetoufilm und da spielte sie Dalli Dalli mit uns. Ich wurde der glückliche Gewinner und gewann die Eintrittskarte für Sonntag im städtischen Kino. Noch dazu war es die Zeit als es Autofreie Sonntage gab, wegen den Arabern( damals auch schon ein Riesenproblem) so machte ich mich auf den Weg. Mitten auf der Strasse, nur der unterbrochene weisse Mittelstreifen unter mir. Die betonwölkige Nebeldecke eines nass kalten Wintertages über mir. So war ich auf dem Weg zu den jugoslawischen Indianer mit den speckigen Bäuchen und den flachen Hinterköpfen, die auf der zerfetzten Filmleinwand sich in den Plitvicern Seen und Wasserfällen versteckten, verprügelten, tauchten und erbärmlich uauauau heulten, so wie wir es im Sommer am Baggersee machten, uns gegenseitig an Bäume fesselten,den Gefangenen über die freiliegenden Beine Brennesseln zogen und sie mit unseren ausgeklappten Schweizer Taschenmessern und rollenden Augen bedrohten. Und jeder spielte diesen französischen Indianer nach, der nicht mit gespaltener Zunge sondern mit gespaltenem Kinn sprach. Mein angebetenes Mädchen von damals hatte ein Riesenposter von ihm an Ihrer Zimmertür hängen. Ich war nämlich mal zu einem Kindergeburtstag von ihr eingeladen, wo wir am Anfang mit den Eltern Topfschlagen gespielt hatten und später , als die Eltern sich zu einem Glas Wein verzogen hatten, indianische Fesselspiele spielten in verdunkeltem Raum...
Den ersten richtigen Indianer sah ich dann auf dem Titelblatt unserer Stadtzeitung. Ein Indianer, der in einem Einkaufswagen vom Supermarkt mit einer Maschinenpistole sass. So hatte ich mir das Indianerleben aber nicht vorgestellt. Es war der letzte bewaffnete Indianeraufstand am
" Verletzten Knie" ( Wounded Knee) in den U.S.A. Es war das erste Mal, dass ich Zeitung las. Da wurde von einer Schiesserei zwischen FBI und der AmericanIndianMovement berichtet, spannender als Karl May. Das alles geschah vor genau 35 Jahren. Wir von der URIBISTAN DAILY wollen an den heroischen, aussichtslosen Kampf erinnern, der von Vietnamveteranen auf beiden Seiten geführt wurde. Im Ausland machten sie dem Vietcong Seite an Seite den Garaus und im eigenen Land bekriegten sie sich, weil da noch einige Rechnungen offenstanden.

Was machen Native Americans heute. Bitte lesen Sie den Bericht aus der NAVAJO TIMES über die Rückkehr eines Soldaten aus dem Irak.

Januar 13, 2008

Israel " Das Musical"

Nach dem Musical "Oklahoma" gibt es nun auch noch das Musical "Israel". Die Uraufführung fand in Jerusalem statt zum Empfang von Mr. Bush. "Somewhere over the Rainbow" in Hebrew wurde auch noch daruntergemischt. Dies ist kein Playback oder ein Remix. Man spürt förmlich das enthusiastische Nationalgefühl der beiden Völker auf die eigene Seele überschwappen. Man möchte am liebsten aufspringen und auf seinem Sofa zu den Rythmen von Havanagila hüpfen, aussteigen, alles verkaufen und im Kibbuz umsonst für den Staat Israel arbeiten. Ich war nicht mutig genug. Ich hüpfte nur und bin von dieser Staatsempfangschoreografie hin und weg.
Ihr Sie herzlich grüssender Herrmann Finkelsteen Djerman Admin

Januar 11, 2008

Radio U : ethnological field trip, The Halaibefrudi Song Complex

- Mo Slim speaks - Today we will have radio for schools, housewifes and everybody who likes ethno-informations! As my friend Mat Gundo was a little boy, he went with his grandmother in spring in the mountains to enjoy the Halaibefrudi Ritual. Snow was melting, and in the lakes and the waters fresh, new blue water was streaming, twinkling and playing with the sunbeams. The women washed their clothes and themselves and they were singing songs from the Halaibefrudi complex. Mat told me that the vocals have no meaning, in the sense we give meaning to words, their roots you can find immediately in the world of elements. The singing women spoke with the elements of the water, the air, the mountains, and they answered, gave them power and fertility. After a while, the men started to sing, and their voices echoed true the mountains and the valleys. It was a high spiritual communication with the elementary world. Till now, in some regions this ritual is carried out. Lucky! Because also in Uribistan modern times are coming. Now people in their village, they have electricity and the women have washing machines. Slowly, this old communication with elementary beings will disappear. In this modern times, in Europe you know how it is, we need other, new powerfull things to communicate with the spiritual world. A very good thing is anthropsfy, and in Uribistan we like very much the Calender of the Soul of Ruud Steinerboy. This is a very important tool to stay in contact with the own spiritual powers and the spiritual powers in the world working through the years, in time and space. But now, please, listen to Radio Uribistan!

Januar 09, 2008

Jews, Arabs, Men and witches and more wars

Murat Tchundyk reports
Today Mr. Bush mada a visita to Jerusalem and said a lot abouta peace. In between he wasa lika my old schoolteacher. " If they are attacking our ships again, there willa be serious consequences." Frowning his eybrows, trying to look dangerously. Later Mr. Bush was trying to sell kosher Turkey Kebap to Mr. Olmert and Mr. Abbas as a bridge between the three Religions, spreading All easy peasy happy feeling
My Grandma always said when we were watching TV back in seventies seeing the one eyed pirate Moshe on his tank, you know Murat the difference between Jews and Arabs is about as big as between Pepsi-Cola and Coca-Cola. And in a Popsong I heard someone singing "our relationship is that of quarelling arabs and jews." It isa nota exact words, but the singer used that metaphor. At the time I didn`t understanda.
When i gotta married to my harem I realised The difference between men and womäns is as big as between Fanta and Coca-Cola.
You canna mix it but I think it tastes terrible. It is the same lika mixing Mongolian Desert Vodka with Camel Milk for me.
God in Paradise dida try to mixa the two, it wasa desaster. You know story, Eva was trying to hava fun and was retaliated by severe punishment. Archangel with fiery sword were fighting Adam and Eve outa ofa Paradise. No more easy living. Working , giving birth to two delinquent boys, who were quarelling lika " Arabs and Jews". Adam always sighed and blaming silently relentfully Eva for being the biggest Idiot. Later all the men took revenge on their womäns for Eves stupid deed eating apples by treating them lika shit. You name it beating, raping, humiliating and burning. The idea of burning came by some followers of the NAIL AND WOOD religion. Whata was there left for womäns? Yes my fränds I had some of them in my harem
Womäns hada to develope their supernatural powers, so they attain knowledge of higher worlds more easily than men. So I bow to all the witches in admiration. Buta last not least, that also produced a lot ofa Homosexuality men being fed up with all this Anthropotantra and magic love spells lika Annette is trying to do with me and Mat. That doesnt mean we become fun loving homosexuals no we enjoy sometimes sitting up in the Uribi Highlands, smoking drinking and philosphisying justa with male witches = wizards. Anyway we started in Jerusalem and ended up in the Uribi Highlands. Be prepared for next war. Best buy at the stock exchange Shares of Tomahawk, Lockheed and Apache Helicopters. Interest rates for coming next year will be about 39% interest rate. Next war isa around the corner!!!!
Yours frändly Murat

Januar 05, 2008

Radio U : THE NAZI-CHARGE: THE JEWISH TSUNAMI CONSPIRACY, about The Tel Aviv Swimm Conspiracy, S-Bombs, and Homosexuals.

- Mo Slim speaks - Some blogreaders remember the posting of Our Ambassador in Berlin (Djermanistan), talking about some theories of neo-nazis about the big wave, the Tsunami, in far east. They claim that jewish and american forces made this Tsunami, firing one or more (atomic)bombs. Radio Uribistan wanted to know more about this, those mind-fucking nazi-theories were not satisfying at all! Radio Uribistan wants to know: what is the truth about it? An uribi undercover agent gave me the crucial hint, and, by change, the tracks I followed brought me in the city I'm living at this time, Tel Aviv. And only a few streets away of my appartment! They brought me to The TeL Aviv Swimm Conspiracy. A little club with wavemaking freaked men, developping the final S-Bomb. I spoke with Levi Stern, founder of the club, a very nice guy indeed. He told me a lot about the club, S-Bombs, american logistics, the high-skilled art of his friend Solomon, and the tragedy with the asian mega-wave. Ofcourse we will inform those nazi-heads about the real proportions of the drama. But we can tell them: yes, in a certain way, you are right! The Jews made the wave! Shit happens. But hear it yourself, ofcourse on: Radio Uribistan!

Januar 04, 2008

RADIO URIBISTAN IS BORN! And a new Correspondent: Mo Slim!

- Mat Gundo reportz - Dearezt, honourable readerz! Not so long ago we could introduce you firzt viewz on the pilot programm of Uribi Television. But today, let me introduce you the real, one and only RADIO URIBISTAN ! We are very proud of it, to let you hear firzt introduction of the great internetradio of The Free anda EverYoung Republic of Uribistan.
We ara also very proud to introduce you again a new co-worker in our Daily staff! Only a couple of dayz ago, we could introduce the great Herrmann Finkelsteen, our djerman administrator, who will writa fine thingies about Djermanistan, anthropsfy anda real rural lifestile! He helped us long timez, but now he is in the staff. But not enough! It is a lot of workz to participate in (web)radio Uribistan, someone new joins us: this is Mo(ses) Slim from Tel Aviv. He is a flying reporter anda also lives in London, New York, Singapore, etc. Our jewish friend Mo Slim will take care of the contributionz of Radio Uribistan. He makes interviewz, discovers conspirationz (he has a big thing, in a few dayz he will tell you about it), talkz about music, art, etc. Enjoy it!
(attention: the contributionz for Radio Uribistan are with otha wordtype, so you can find them easily among all otha great posts of Finkelsteen, Tchundyk, and ofcourse mines). Overstreamingz!

Januar 03, 2008

Happy New Year, Goodbye anda have Good Trip to Mars!

-mat gundo reportz - Dearezt readerz! Firzt of all: happy, happy new year with real peace on earth anda in the heartz! It was beautiful, magnificent, outrageous, the days with wild Susanna from Goy, Our Ambassador anda with lida Hicklussar, fantastic! The kosmic Summer Geese Train in the sky, in the heavenz. And afta lotz of finezt Kamel Sutré! Susanna, you are so good! Hicklussar had a great encounter with otha blogbeing, she likes it to stay anonymous, also we call her Hicklussa. Therefore, he wantz to stay a few more weekz in Uribistan. Hope his chief says 'yes' to it. Also Hicklussa made great blog-being Kamel Sutré. Maybe in another post, I will write more about those perfect dayz on the Geese Tour. It was a great honour to me!
But now let's talk about present day situationz in Uribistan. We live in historic timez: no more Haremz in Lower anda Middle landz of Uribistan. Finally! Most of the women are very lucky now. I think my Uribi brotha Murat is lucky too, life is not so exhausting anymore.
And we hava otha important message: as creepy Halim Tzjopp wrote below, Annette Girl was selled to a former Afghani Taliban Warlord, now living in Gobi desert. But it was very hard, for both of them. Also with help of the damned Tzjopp Clan, she could be transferred to a very, very secret anda world important project in Kazakstan: firzt human flight to Mars! It is a Russian-American-Uribi enterprise, anda with few otha peoplez Annette will be firzt Annette Girl on Mars. Maybe she will meet Buddha there, in ätheric-astral aspect! Lucky Annette. We are proud to present now last portrait of Annette, before she passes to Mars. This is very last portrait. She will be away for 5 yearz or more, anda in this time, due to technical reasonz, anda also to top secret class of this project, she will not write anymore. Also, if you see posts with Annette with Burka: remember, this is from now on a false Annette, anda you can cancel it immediately. To the real Annette, now on the road to Mars, we can say: have a very good trip, a lot of health, anda lotz of love in your space cabin and on Mars! Farewell and say hello to Mars!

Januar 02, 2008

No more harems in Uribistan

URIBISTAN DAILY REPORTS- On the first of January 2008 all harems in Uribistan were closed down. UN security personel overviewed accurately the procedure of selling and handing over all women to foreign trademen. Those trademen come from countries were the UN resolutions are not gripping yet properly. Nicolas Sarkozy, who happend to be in Uribistan, said: " I am doubting whether all these women are really liberated or for most of them the horror finally begins. But...cest la vie ppppphhh!"
Murat Tchundyk said after he said goodbye to all his wives he so happily lived together so many years. " It isa always difficuilt to say goodbye for good, buta Halim Tzjop paid good price I canta complain. So I hava one crying eye and one smiling eye. But on the whole I ama now a happy mongamous hetero Uribi man." The question which wife he kept behind his kitchen stove wasn`t answered by Mr. Tchundyk.
"So this is the right step into the future for Uribistan to be partners of the West in the wilderness of Asia.," said a somewhat frownful US foreign minister Condelezza Rice with a regretful," I wished they wouldn`t have sold their harems." Alice Schwarzer a djerman womenliberation leader said:" Scandalous!!!!! Shame on the West!"
Mat Gundo who just came back with a little undefined animal in his arms from the Uribi Highlandz said:" That will be real tough for all the Harem Uribi women."and sang his song TZJOP GIRL as a goodbye tune for the trail of leaving women.
Please Readers discuss and write in any language in the comments about the handover of harems in Uribistan.