Jesusland

Good miracle show, buta somehow verry sad...no electric booty cheesus, whera peoples canna hava Whitsun experience. Let us pray in whatever Religion for Jesusland (click to visit Jesusland)to geta soon well again. Yours Murat
P.S. Is Green-little-River also a Jesuslander? The national flags, the christian preaching the politix it somehow fits really verry well !!!

Important Message from the Uribi Secret Army (HQ)

-mat gundo reportz- Dearezt reader! Our (still) friend Igor lampenhausen says he has very confidential materialz about our relationship with Guido Westerwell. Yes, we know Guido Westerwell, after his holidayz in Kazakstan, he did not wanted to wear blue hat anymore. In Uribi Highlandz he felt very free anda good, anda learned to speak liita bit High Uribi anda Uribi english, that's all!!
Our Director of the Uribi Secret Army, Leah Cim Tregge, has the following important message, an open letter to Mista Lampenhausen :

Dear Mista Lampenhausen!
This is official declaration from Security Department of Uribistan:
We have nothing to do with Möllman-case and have nothing to do with Westerwell boy!
Yours sincerell,
Leah Cim Tregge (Uribi Secret Army - HQ)

Did Goy our flamboyant Ambassador dump little Susanna?

In a Goys world the house blessing hangs diagonal. All readers of Uribistan Daily ask the question dida he dumpa Susanna?
Here one of the best popsong ever written on break ups, splitting upa, needing space, sorting ones ego out . This is initiation pure and painful!
Murat reports

For our Viszitorz from India- but please, before read Eurythmix post of Murat, it's great to do it yourself!

- Mat Gundo reportz - Dear Vizitors from India anda rest of Worldz! You asked us not only showing high classical indian music for you, but also more Bollywood-Kind music. Well, we found good middle thingie: it's cultural anda popular anda ghood for whole worldz, because with english subtitlez! The translation is made by young boy anda Uribi friend Buffalax. Buffalax is genious: he can tranzlate anada tranzscript lotz of languagez. Maybe one day he will also tranzlate ana tranzscript Uribi Secret Bookz!
For you, dear readerz, we hava two bollywood-lika videos: firzt the indian version of Michael Jackson's 'Thriller', anda twice, we hava great Indian group Tunak Tunak Tun ! Enjoy it, but firzt do great eurytmix exercise given here! On terra canaillo, now in Our Uribi Ambassador's style (!), the crew also did a Buffalax video, but there it is more for semantix research!

Eurythmix Eurythmie Eurythmy Eurythmea Eurythmicia Rhytmia d`eu Rhytmuswojädermitmus

Eurythmix is a greät!!! In Aoeablog the secrets ofa the origin of this sacred art isa revealed. On video you see Urban Uncle doin greät Eurythmix performance. He does it the Kasakhi way. Applause from Uribistan!
Yours frändly Murat

For our Visitorz from India

- mat gundo reportz - Dearezt Honourable Readerz from the great republic of India! With great help of our blogcounting programm, we notice that lotz of our readerz come from your famouz country! In the post here below, my Uribi brotha Murat presentz you the newezt scientific research in our Hamasheyk Institute, togetha with lotz of scientific picz! But now, especially for the peoplez from India, we present fine music from your country!
But before we are listening anda looking, I had to tell you something about our Berlin friend Igor Lampenhausen. We allready thought, he does not write anymore, is completely happy and lozt in his Cozmic Sex magix. But now he writez again. He is a very interesting guy: he did his community service as alternative to military service as a young guardian angel! Amazing! He was working between and with angelz! Than he wrote some wordz for mister Schäuble (our heimatminizter) anda gave information about a new McDonaldz in Berlin Kreuzberg, and after, punctual to the beginning of autumn, he started Chriztmas time! Yes, he is ahead of hiz time, and now he wrote about India Bharti. After reading our Daily, vizit Mister Lampenhausen anda have fun with hiz secret method of Cozmic Sex!
Here we have the Shankara Orchestra with Raga Hamsadhwani - enjoy it!

How to deal witha vision dominated sex addiction?¨¨

Dearezt Readerz! Grandmotha had good heart, seeing her grandson so much working for the Daily, that she said (ofcourse in Uribi, but I tranzlate), smoking her uribi cigar: 'Ok, dear Grandson Mahat Hansi, don't do the shit alone, but let this horny plonker write hiz part !' Well, I think, here he is again! - overstreamingz, Mat Gundo-

Virtual sex today is a growing problema in our global world also ina Uribistan! Therefore Dr. Nathan froma University of Bagdad in Arizona visited us and gava workshops with sex addicts who are fixated on pics. Borat the olda gypsy catcher caughta a hippie froma cave in the Uribi Highlands. He was our test person. For this kinda severe tests we use foreigners, best without any papers no inlanders. So he gotta educated in Hamasheyk Institute by electro shocks(we hada permission by UNO) to losa his abnormal sexual arousals. Now he is healed and his Astro booty is verrry clean it isa not centred in his genital area anymore but in his heartchakra. He is now a real peacful heart chakra intercourser,who thinks and fucks with his heart. So at least the Hamasheyk scientists and Dr. Nathan thinka. We hava incredible amounta ofa sexy pics fuckers on Uribistan Daily as visitors justa becausa we hava two naked womäns on our blog and sometimes a sexy language. Others calla ita vulgar. We woulda call ita hearty or a bit juicy.
Ifa you donta want to be aroused unnessceray by sexy pics anymore. Pleasa writa to us and Hamasheyk Institute of biological Cybernetics willa helpa you.The Uribistan National Health Service is financing this project. So please apply now!!! Murat reports

Otha important editorial message!

- mat gundo reportz - These days I could be gazt-visitor in Canaillo home. Togetha we maka music (I hava make Uribi Highland Danz with Jane, wowee!) anda I wenta with Joseph to his theatregroup he has in original Djermanistan State Prizon, working witha longlife emprizoned peoplez. It was very astonishing what is possible to do in such a prizon to sozialize those guyz. Much better as in some Uribistani prizonz (we have some, ofcourse only in Uribi Lowlandz - Murat land, you know): there ara about 120 peoplez in one room, witha shit hole in the middle. If you think you hava 5 stockz in the jailhouse, and one hole in the middle, you can imagine. From such kindz of prizonz people getting worser as before.
It was also nice sitting behind original olde Terra Canaillo-pc anda making thingz togetha. I wrote post for Terra Canaillo, but it is not still published.
Jane mada very good pumpkin soup, and I said here she must publish this cooking recipe - it is só fantastic!
Now I'm back in the Uribi Heightz, anda from here, I will writa for The Uribistan Daily, still without Murat. I met my grandmotha, and she said: as long as my foto stayz on the Daily, Murat may not writa! I have lotz of respect for my grandmotha, as we hava respect for olda wise peoplez in Uribi Highlandz. I'm sorry for the readerz, sorry for Murat: BUT TOMORROW MURAT WILL NOT WRITE! I must wait till my grandmotha givez kinda green light. Anda, I know, with my grandmotha, it is long time!
Overstreamed, Mat.

Wishing being in Amerikanistan

- mat gundo reportz - Dear Uribistanhaedz! My friend Canaillo and me decided in a commun action to present some filmz from the Vancouver Film School. We ara glad to present you film about dreaming of Amerikanistan anda possibilitiez to go there. Here in Uribistan you can find some young peoplez thinking anda dreaming to go to thiz modern shambala land, cruising on avenues in Bel Air anda having heavyboopy girlz in the back of the cabrio, doing Highway 66, playing in Las Vegas anda all that stuff. But look out, only wish to go there, can be dangerouz!

A fine boogie for all our readerz!

- mat gundo reportz - This guy, my Uribi Brotha Murat: I found him visiting anda commenting otha sites! If it is abroad, we can do nothing -but I have to speak with him. It seamz, he does not take the Uribi daily management serious! If he does not change his behaviour, he must be locked out for anotha week! Today, for our dearezt readerz, to forget lita bit goatmilk drinkin' Murat, we hava overstreamed music from a great dutch cabaretman: Wim de Bie. Months ago, before he was in Brasil, dearezt bloggy friend Joseph Canaillo sended the video-link to me by youtube-mail. I cannot read the subtitlez, but it must be double-fun: they don't follow the text of this song. This fantastic boogie is also kind of parodia of some huzband of dutch princess (till now I thought it was kinda of republic?). Here it is, it is short but be sure, if you play piano, you can play it at home:

Uribi Security Message, anda new job for Egoizt Tribal Manager

-Mat Gundo reportz - Important! : because we are official site of Free anda Ever Young Republic of Uribistan, all official Uribi organisationz can give message here. I am not responsible for thingies written below, but our Minister of Inner Situationz said I had to writa thiz! Normaly Uribi Brotha Murat writes about such objectz-
Dearezt readerz! Ofcourse thiz was very nice from our friendz from the Egoist Triba to send us electroshocking thingies for special Murat punishment (justa read comments on our Uribistan Special Notice post). I thinka mister Stanley Milgram, God have his soul, would be very happy with thiz reaction of our friendly torture triba. Maybe mista Eggert from Egoist triba would lika it to become supervisor anda coordinator of our new organisation Uribistan Secret Army? We looked in Djermanistan internet to find some more fine thingies for him to use in hiz new function:

for example here we found in electroshock-discounter 750.000 voltz shocker, very handsome, for only price of 74,90 € ! You can take it with you anda it workz also wenn peoplez wear big mountainbear-skin clothez anda 5timez goatwool underpantz, (In Djermanistan peoplez have to use thiz if they hava curled-hair, are not so white, or if they look too intelligent, travelling in eastern savannah-regionz of Brandenburg)


Otha big variation, I thinke new staff of Uribi Secret Army will like it, is this special electroshocktoy. It is a long 46cm, it has 300.000 voltz, you can beat with it and make kick-ass. It only has prize 91,90 € ! The inner ministry bought 1 piece - in our factory in Kûz-Met (lida Uribi desert town), we will maka our own production. We will use thiz for guardz in Berlin Ambassy, for new Uribi Secret Army, anda we hope to sell lotz of them to our friendly Happy Beater. (In Djermanistan thiz is very good to maka Nazi-Skinkick in eastern savannah-regionz anda in western backroomz).

Anotha nice toy we found on security-discount site in Djermanistan Internet. We admire Djermanistan peoplez very much that such seriouz thingz lika security, here in Djermanistan are same lika having big fun. Prize: only 5,90 € ! Thiz is really good prize, as Murat said it is as much cheaper as same procedure in our known Hamasheyk bordello 'Paradise Virginz'. Our Ministry bought 100 pieces (ofcourse without softsilk stuffy, it is even cheaper! Children in Tay-Lé Factory in Uribi Lowlandz (Muratcountry!) will sew special Highland Goatbullock skin on it). Few we will send to our Berlin Ambassy. Special Mat Gundo question: dear Mister Ambassador, can you tell us how to use this exactly, anda in what kind of situationz? Thanx!
Magash! Keep on visiting Uribistan!

The Uribistan Daily - special notice

Dearezt Readerz ! My Uribi Brotha Murat, but now in firzt place, my colleague here in The Daily, made litta bit trouble at the Egoist Triba! He did not read the whole article, before commentating it, anda was acting lika litta King Kong (which he saw on the article's pic). Ofcourse thiz is not very professional! We all know, he is a daddy now of a lida girl, anda has lotz of thingies to do, he never did before! It made him also very tired. That's I think the most important reason, we don't give him a great disciplinal punishment, but we must set here a very clear signal! Therefore, Mister Murat Tchundyk is not allowed to write here until saturday, the 22nd of september. Some peoplez may say: thiz is not punishment. O yeah, it is punishment: if Murat is like now, he can writa every day. Now, he has time to thinka about how to manage the house with mom anda lida Selimara.

Gun-Fun witha Pamela!

mat gundo reportz - Dearezt Readerz! We are all very happy seeing Murat again on our site, witha his lovely lida girl anda special forces to keep an eye on that lida bitch Selimara (she now started to read 'Theopsfy' from great Rudy Boy!).

Ofcourse, the interesting reader of The Uribistan Daily hava now questionz, for example: "What the hell is thiz about some patriotz missilez in Uribistan ?? Why they need it?"

Well, you musta know few thingies:

1) we ara, as you can read in wortfightingz in otha commentz, not happy with situation in Iraq anda role of Americanistan anda Mister Bush Administration in the whole affair;

2) but, we lika it to have some hech-technic weaponz from Americanistan for reasonz you can count on one hand: at the one side we have Mister Ahmadinedschad in Persia, who is a lida bit silly looking at our rich country, anda does not lika we hava absolute freedom of all religionz. On the otha side we have Mister Putine, anda we don't truzt thiz guy too. In next year, we think he will stay in Russia, anda it will become worser as you think;

3) "Hey, you camel-riding treesucker, what did you talk about before, as you speak from disappearance trickz?" you will ask now. Yes, you are right! Dear new anda newezt readerz, just read this here! This is no contradiction! If someone wantz to attack us, today, in modern timez, it is possible, with rocketz, airplanez, bombz, the whole bullshitting mess happenz very, very quick! You hava no time to taka breath, and you are dead! It is today blitz³-krieg! Anda our three old shamanz will not be so quick to maka disappear-magix lika in 1917. Therefore, to hava some time, to gain a few minutez, we bought from our friend in Americanistan, The Pretorian Mister Praetorin, this highly modern kick-your-ass-rocket-system. We heard, he will come to give us instructionz how to work with it. (You know: wenn I was child I liked to play with paper-airplanez, and after this I had lida missileweapon-car with a lida green-red plastic rocket, with the car I could shoot missilez in the roomz. If mizter Praetorin comez, I will be firzt to maka shootingz in Uribi Dessert!).

We will hava lotz of gun-fun! In Uribistan, we will call this system 'Pamela'.

Thänx my fränds

Dearest lovely Antropsfy Blogheads
I ama so happy. My wife and little girlie are okay, buta they will stay with Highlands Uribi shamans to geta really well. Mahmoud as you cana see worked as midwife. He really good. And our americain allies protected our birth zone. Uribistan hasa powerful fränds at the military PRAETORIN he isa rocket launcher. He isa fan of Uribi Folktales. In the evening our americained US soldiers are listening to Uribi folktales. I wenta fora short walk through the swampy antropsfy bloglands. I thought It isa good to hava fränds who are rocketlaunchers. URIBISTAN is prepared!!!! Watch out!!!!
Yours frändly Murat
(Sorry canta show pics of my two girls you know paparazzis buta you my fränds maka me all happy lika Uribi Freedom eagle who visits Archangels upa in heaven)


Praetorin
Murat,
Hey i am very glad to have you as a friend to. I hope that you enjoyed my videos as i have enjoyed yours. I love the Folktales. =)

more thingies to be a better antropsfy-head

- mat gundo reportz - Dearest Readerz! For not a long time ago, we talked with you about stuff lika meditation anda masturbation anda showed you fine gadgets to get rid of manuel-rhythmic problemz. Longer timez ago we showed you fine Jesus dolls, with anda without lightshow, and so on, and so on. Today, for our highly tired street- and hallfighting anthro-blogheadz and there not very highly imaginationdefined criticz, we present some thingies to relax, to enjoy anda to become better male or female anthro-bloghead or male or female anthro-bloghead-critic.
We hava something very good for those anthroblogheadz anda otherz, feeling 'sinny' after doing their job anda making dancehallfighting. With this product you can wash away your sins! It is so good - it means less kamaloka! (for those peoplez too, not believing this, because it is fact: kamaloka is for everybody). Here it is, the soap:, it has one perfect advantage: it helpz also againzt deadly sins! If you don't know anymore the deadly sins, don't worry! We also hava nice seven deadly sins wristbandz! Everyday you can wear anotha, for example 'lust' on saturday evening, if you leave your pc anda your bloggie and all those boring discussionz, anda you go in city-nightlife. Here are two of them:

If, our dearezt reader, for example those in Uribi downlandz ande desertz, lika dear Uribi Brotha Murat anda daughter (his wife is from Highlandz and much more intelligent) do not know anymore the context of 'deadly sins' etc., we hava for them beautiful poker-game: you can learn the rulez of poker and play it, and at the same time you are learning katholic doctrine (we ara also preparing now antropsfy-poker cardz, with few principelz anda 'leitlineas' for anthropsfyheadz - I thinka also for pokerplaying criticz this also must be very interesting!)

Katholic doctrine on cardz, goes lika: "Hail Mary, full of grace, please give me another ace!"

The wash-your-sins-soap has a price of only $ 1,79 !

The wristbands only $ 1,95 !

The poker-game only $ 6,99 (of very good qualtity)!

Relax anda be good anthropsfy head!

Big Now-You-Are-Daddy-Party anda Telephon talk

-mat gundo reportz- Dearest readerz! It is a few dayz ago, we made last post - justa because we mada big party with Murat. It is a, in tranzlation, Uribi-Now-You-Ara-Daddy party. Lika in Djermanistan people hava kind of 'Jungesella' party before they get married. Here, in Uribistan, before we maka big party for Murat's lida girl anda wife, we hava special party wenn man is becoming firzt time fatha. It was big fun witha lotz of Uribi spiritual drinkz anda we were in higher circumstancez.
Meanwhile in wide world we heard that mister Bin Laden makez new video, we will ask him to read some Uribi Folktalez for litta Murat Girl Selimara. He also talkz lita bit Uribi-english. But now we hava now for you all lida video from Mister Bush anda Mister Osama talking togetha. It is made by our american friendz The Flesh Eating Robotz.

All the Best for Murat's Lidda Girl !!

-Mat Gundo reportz- What ara you thinkin' now, dear readerz? It is all about troubling in anthropsfyworldz, great discussingz at Nerony's and at Egoist Triba, and our Ambassador, I don't know where he is: ill, tired, holidayz, fallin' in lova, disappeared, justa very busy with diplomatic activitiez? Anda all those postz about racism anda book of mister Zanders (remember, we didda uribi tranzlation), anda now I red Joseph C. also wrote book lika that, anda Happy Beater isa fine combatting here at The Daily. I'm thinking about to giva him a kinda of Guezt status, to writa from time to time hiz happy beating thoughtz. Why not, lika guy Broder in 'The Mirror'. It is a bíg fun to discuss with him.
But, what ara you thinkin' now, dear readerz, that was question, what are you thinking of rosa colour on the daily? Becausa Murat has now lidda Daughter! Poor guy hadda hard dayz waiting child is coming, anda ofcoursa also hiz wife. It is also very good he has daughter, so he can learna lot about having daughterz and that in modern timez it is equal you hava son or daughter! But, I know, Murat will make it: he is very, very happy with Selimara, the lidda girl.
The djerman administator, the Uribi staff and me, Mat Gundo, we wish you all the best - anda we ara still waiting for the Big Birthday Party - witha lotz of Chal-kô, special Uribi Highlandz wine, only drunk wenn beautiful daughta is born! Over-over-overstreamingz!

Das Fliegenpapier

Ich sitze hier und philosphiere wie andere Blogs über das Bloggen. Bloggereien oder die Bloggerei und während ich diesen Gedankengänge hinterher denke, baumelt mir das Fliegenpapier, welches über dem Haupt PC im Office der URIBISTAN DAILY hängt, gefährlich nahe ans Gesicht. Murat hingegen geniesst eine Fliegenfreie Zeit in der Wüste. Ich lese ein Buch, das sich irgendwie in unsere Redaktion geschlichen hat. Aus einer Kurzgeschichte:
(...)Wenn sich eine Fliege darauf niederlässt - nicht besonders gierig, mehr aus Konvention, weil schon so viele andere da sind - klebt sie zuerst nur mit den äussersten, umgebogenen Gliedern aller ihrer Beinchen fest. (...) Von unten steigen verwirrende Dünste auf. Wie ein kleiner Hammer tastet ihre Zunge heraus. Ihr Kopf ist braun und haarig, wie aus einer Kokosnuss gemacht; wie menschenähnliche Negeridole. Sie biegen sich vor und zurück auf ihren festgeschlungenen Beinchen, beugen sich in den Knien und stemmen sich empor, wie Menschen es machen, die auf alle Weise versuchen, eine zu schwere Last zu bewegen; tragischer als Arbeiter es tun, wahrer im sportlichen Ausdruck der äussersten Anstrengung als Laokoon. Und dann kommt der immer gleich seltsame Augenblick, wo das Bedürfnis einer gegenwärtigen Sekunde über alle Dauergefühle des Daseins siegt. Es ist der Augenblick, wo ein Kletterer wegen des Schmerzes in den Fingern freiwillig den Griff der Hand öffnet,(...)Immer aber ist der Feind bloss passiv und gewinnt bloss von ihren verzweifelten, verwirrten Augenblicken. Ein Nichts, ein ES zieht sie hinein. So langsam, dass man dem kaum zu folgen vermag, und meist mit einer jähen Beschleunigung am Ende, wenn der letzte innere Zusammenbruch über sie kommt. Sie lassen sich dann plötzlich fallen, nach vorne aufs Gesicht, über die Beine weg; oder seitlich, alle Beine von sich gestreckt; oft auch auf die Seite, mit den Beinen rückwärts rudernd. So liegen sie da. Wie gestürzte Aeroplane, die mit einem Flügel in die Luft ragen. Oder wie krepierte Pferde. Oder mit unendlichen Gebärden der Verzweiflung. Oder wie Schläfer. Noch am nächsten Tag wacht manchmal eine auf, tastet eine Weile mit einem Bein oder schwirrt mit dem Flügel. Manchmal geht solch eine Bewegung über das ganze Feld, dann sinken sie alle noch ein wenig tiefer in ihren Tod.(...)

Wie heisst der Autor, liebe Blogger? Und sind wir Blogger nicht auch mit unserer Bloggerei dem ES auf den Leim gegangen? Sind wir dazu in der Lage dieses virtuelle Fliegenpapier= die Blogs, die uns ärgern oder magisch anziehen, einfach so mir nichts dir nichts zu verlassen. Was hält uns?
Herrmann Finkelsteen Djerman Administrator