-Mat Gundo reportz - Important! : because we are official site of Free anda Ever Young Republic of Uribistan, all official Uribi organisationz can give message here. I am not responsible for thingies written below, but our Minister of Inner Situationz said I had to writa thiz! Normaly Uribi Brotha Murat writes about such objectz-
Dearezt readerz! Ofcourse thiz was very nice from our friendz from the Egoist Triba to send us electroshocking thingies for special Murat punishment (justa read comments on our Uribistan Special Notice post). I thinka mister Stanley Milgram, God have his soul, would be very happy with thiz reaction of our friendly torture triba. Maybe mista Eggert from Egoist triba would lika it to become supervisor anda coordinator of our new organisation Uribistan Secret Army? We looked in Djermanistan internet to find some more fine thingies for him to use in hiz new function:
for example here we found in electroshock-discounter 750.000 voltz shocker, very handsome, for only price of 74,90 € ! You can take it with you anda it workz also wenn peoplez wear big mountainbear-skin clothez anda 5timez goatwool underpantz, (In Djermanistan peoplez have to use thiz if they hava curled-hair, are not so white, or if they look too intelligent, travelling in eastern savannah-regionz of Brandenburg)
Otha big variation, I thinke new staff of Uribi Secret Army will like it, is this special electroshocktoy. It is a long 46cm, it has 300.000 voltz, you can beat with it and make kick-ass. It only has prize 91,90 € ! The inner ministry bought 1 piece - in our factory in Kûz-Met (lida Uribi desert town), we will maka our own production. We will use thiz for guardz in Berlin Ambassy, for new Uribi Secret Army, anda we hope to sell lotz of them to our friendly Happy Beater. (In Djermanistan thiz is very good to maka Nazi-Skinkick in eastern savannah-regionz anda in western backroomz).
Anotha nice toy we found on security-discount site in Djermanistan Internet. We admire Djermanistan peoplez very much that such seriouz thingz lika security, here in Djermanistan are same lika having big fun. Prize: only 5,90 € ! Thiz is really good prize, as Murat said it is as much cheaper as same procedure in our known Hamasheyk bordello 'Paradise Virginz'. Our Ministry bought 100 pieces (ofcourse without softsilk stuffy, it is even cheaper! Children in Tay-Lé Factory in Uribi Lowlandz (Muratcountry!) will sew special Highland Goatbullock skin on it). Few we will send to our Berlin Ambassy. Special Mat Gundo question: dear Mister Ambassador, can you tell us how to use this exactly, anda in what kind of situationz? Thanx!
Magash! Keep on visiting Uribistan!