non-video cultural learninx in preparation of Ascension Day

MG reports! - As I wrote to you, dearest readerz, my family all are memberz of the Uribi Christian Church, whicha, with influences from all over to Atlantis, and a lota shamanism, is about to be the oldest religion in the world. Now on my way in Olde Europe and New America of thiz Mister Bush, I looka what is new in Christian religion, maybe I find some usefull thingies to bring back to my peoplez. In Uribistan we like all kindz of Colourz anda fine kitschy stuf. (Dear Readerz: if you look at my text, you surely noticed that it isa more shaped! Yes, my secretary, the dear tiny Miss Juba (a very beautifulllll daughter of great Gigili!), she looks a little bit that all is written in smooth shape!!). Well, back to the subject: I founda very nice Coloured Jesus for my peoplez! One is lika handsome Oracle, you ask Jesus and he answers! I hearda Mister Bush also hava one in Oval Room to make decisionz easier! And the other Jesus is lika LED-lamp, in psychedelic mood! I thinka these are very wonderfull Giftz for Ascension Day! Here they are:
On the left you see the LED-Jesus, on the righta the real answering Jesus. Here I give you description of both Toyz, as written in Announcement:
See the light! Turn him on and Jesus gives you a continuously moving psychedelic rainbow light display. Nearly 13" of extra groovy deity. Cordless. Takes 3 AAA batteries - INCLUDED.
Shipped in groovy gift box. 3/4 lbs. - details: weight 2.00 lbs, price: $ 24.99
and, to Answering Jesus:
The Magic 8 Ball version of the Son of God. Ask a question, tip him over, and viola! YOU know what Jesus would do. Almost 13" of deity, fuzzy, firm, and pink. Shipped in groovy gift box. 3 lbs. - details: weight 3.00 lbs, price: $ 10.00
As a special Gift for Readerz of the Uribistan Daily, we produce now a third Jesus, also for Ascension Day, witha little Mechanisements to Fly and rise up in sky! (in yellow, gold, pink & blue!)
Hava Nice Times!