November 17, 2007

Christmaspresentz anda 'How to be a real good, fine,attractive, young, womanizing anthropsfy-head ?!'

- mat gundo reportz - Dear readerz, now Christmas timez ara coming, and from the beginningz of September on, in shops you can get all kindz of thingies to give to your beloved friendz. If you are an anthropsfy-head, you also may think about the stuff you give your otha anthropsfy-friendz anda girl-friendz. Well, here we hava some fine thingiez: but maybe, you lika to use them yourself! Let's go!
Since former timez, until now, to become a serious anthropsfy head, anda also to hava some respect, it is good you know some basicz of anthropsfy. In our
firzt posts here (before it was Uribistan Daily, anda was still made by Canailloz) lotz of thingiez are written about electric anda astral booties anda otha thingz you must know if you wanna be good anthropsfy-head.
Also for this purpose we hava fine little helperz, lika for example the Rudy-haircut programm with different anthro-haircut wiggiez! We hava for example standard type 'Rudy', we have the more styled type 'Bodo', for ostalgix-fanz we hava type 'Sergej', for traditional female anthropsfy-headz we have type 'Virginia', for youngsterz, new heroes anda anthro- blogfighterz we have type 'Bastie' (now even cheaper!!). Till now type 'Bastie' has not been sold so much (only Murat bought few of it, so you can see on picz at
With this haircutz, anda with kinda of black dress, you can match lotta pointz in the anthro-game. The haircut combined with the sharp-eyez mask gives you high satisfaction! If you wear those thingiez, ofcourse you have to look at your anthro-behaviour! Firzt: learn the basicz of anthro-speach (as written before), second specialize yourself in some important anthro-topicz: lika karma, invisible booties anda elementary beingz, anthro-kitsh art or, better, Joseph Beuys, Chartres, flowformz, projective geometry, Tarkowsky, social ideaz, DM, eurythmix anda otha enlightenmentz. Try to mix it all up and bring your own thing. Write a lot, or make conferencez, speaking about everything! You can speak on schoolz, or betta, rent your own hall anda you will see that in beginningz (mature) women (widowed, divorced, with uninterested huzbandz, natural singlez) will visit your spiritual talkz - afta conference, talk directly with them. A special and fine case are
eurythmix-girlz. Come with them in a common spiritual flow anda invite them for dinner. Warning: don't forget: firzt of all, you have to look in your present-day city, if there is a vegetarian restaurant! Important: talk seriously anda not to loud, with emphasis on the consonantz anda maka short break between your heavy thoughtz, look discretely at a point between her heart and throat (warning: this must be learned, do it yourself in a mirror, othawise she may think you ara looking at her breastz!), or look few centimeter above her head (electric booty!) - listen with earz and the heart wide open - talk about spiritual thingiez! If you hava no answer: put on the sharp eyez mask anda keep yourself in heavy meaningful silence. Afta you talk about something totaly different, but with very deep bottom. Try to put secret meaningz in all the stuff you are talking about. At the dinner, look for a good biodynamic wine. Warning: lotz of eurythmix-girlz don't drink ofcourse! Order them the best and most exclusive bio-fruit drinkz. Afta you can drink some yogi-tea. Invite her to your house, or bring her to her house (ofcourse you pay the taxi). Talk about good vibrationz, now it's the time you hava deep look in her eyez, anda you say following thingiez (no, not thiz what Boogie said): 'You have a mysterious/ very good/ clear/ virginlike/ gorgeous/ strong/ powerful/ deepblue/ clear-red/ goldyellow/ brightgreen aura.'(you can combine thiz in different variationz). Warning: never bring this Frank Zappa lyrics as a joke 'Lick my aura, Dora, do ye want some mora, right here on the flora?' At this point of your anthropsfy-interaction, kidding is killing you!
Now she asks you to come with here in her home and drink some Goodnight/Sleep/Wellness Weleda tea. Afta lida smalltalk (ofcourse you ara admiring her room/appartment/house), say meaningful thingiez of the former incarnationz of her cat! Otha possibilitiez: taka one of her cd's anda tell something anthropsfylike about the composer - look at a picture on the wall: tell something anthropsfylike about the painter - taka a book from her small library anda tell something anthropsfylike about the writer anda about the personz in this book. Next, after cup of good tea: you talka about your experiences with Weleda anda Wala anda rhythmic massagez (ofcourse by pure coincidence you hava lida bottle with
wild rose-massage oil of Weleda in your pocket) - and than you ask her to giva massage on neck and shoulderz. Do it very slowly anda with tender feelingz (talk also about astrology and the starz) - say how beautiful it is to be togetha in kosmos anda found eachotha in wide, empty worldz to do thiz wonderful thingiez. (important warning: don't use Weleda After Shave yourself, it is absolutely libido knocking-out - betta take normal Joop! or Bruno Banani !!) Then taka lida rest, drink some tea, listen lida bit Arvo Pärt anda talk about fluidal interactionz between human beingz - about warmth, etc. Don't forget: sharp eyez! For rest of night we wish you both hava nice sexy anthropsfy timez anda never forget vaticanies! (warning: thiz method is without guaranty for anthropsfy-wimpz!)


Anonym hat gesagt…

Dear Murat.
I move your instructions around in my heart.

I certainly take all of them hairstylez.

Love your consonants. Also all of them.

Christophs clicks are great and he must have had that mask since a long time already.

Anonym hat gesagt…

Is Karma-soap still available ?

Anonym hat gesagt…

Weleda has good soap. Can be ordered by me.