Februar 21, 2008

Official Declaration of Mat Gundo in the Disappearence Case of Mista Murat Tchundyk

(1) In the beginnning of februar 2008, the Hamasheyk Institute started the Chromosome Project - minimizing Mista Murat Tchundyk, and putting him in a carrot seed, getting possibilities working on molecular levelz, leaderz: Mista Gigili (Shaman), anda Professor Dr.Dr. Puntjap (Biologist, Physician). Assistance: me, Mat Gundo, reporting process anda giving mumbo-djumbo helpz to minimize our brotha Tchundyk.
(2) The experimentz are spread over 7 Weekz, in 72 different ranges (experimental situationz), numbered from 1-001.A till 72-999.K In range 26-542.D we hava the seedz with Mista Tchundyk.
(3) After one week of great experience and powerfull resultz, one of the collaborating students noticed that the testing arrangementz from range 14-332.C till range 29-448.L were lost.
(4) Ofcourse this was a top secret disaster: we knew we had spies from Russia in our laboratories!
(5) At this time we watched a black sack standing in the institute floor. But: if we were in search for the lost ranges, and a student wanted to look for the sack, we just saw Mista Mahmoud (carrot experienced person), running out of the institute with this sack.
(6) Following Mister Mahmoud, he just disappeared before our eyez (bad shaman trick, he had some help from more powerfull shamanz, we guess). Two dayz later we found restz of carrot seedz on the fieldz in the neighboorhood of Hamasheyk Institute.
(7) Meanwhile Mista Mahmoud is arrested (see below), anda from Germany miss Professor Dr. Barbara E. is having great anda heavy criticz on the address of Professor Puntjap (see commentz on firzt article about the seeds experimentz), in the way he is setting up this experimentz!
(8) What to do now? a) I spoke with great Crow Group Spirit about what to do if Mista Tchundyk is eaten by crowz (also professor dr. Barbara said something to Crow eating). Our knowledge is: eaten by crowz is betta as eaten by goatz. Now we have not one, but 32 crowz here in Hamasheyk Institute, which where on these fieldz - friendly sended by the Great Crow Spirit.
It is possible we find Tchundyk here, in the middle of crow shit.
b) If Tchundyk is in goatshit, he is lost for ever. His spirit must find new body.
c) It is possible that partz of the seedz are selled to the Russians by Mister Mahmoud. The lost of so many experimental ranges is only there for misleading us: the most important range 26-542.D with Mista Tchundyk could be in Russia now!
d) It is also possible that Mista Mahmoud did not sell the seedz yet, because he asked a lot of money for it (5.000.000 Euro), and still the seedz are in Uribistan.
(9) We are waiting now for our american friendz. They will try to find out the truth about everything with their special method of waterboarding. Let us pray for Mahmoud, that he tells us the truth!
(10) Last newz: Professor Puntjap has been dismissed by the Council of Uribi Shamanz (CUS). They asked Professor Barbara from Djermanistan to run now the whole experimental settingz with the carrot seedz. The CUS believes as far in me to bring up good communication with the Big Crow Spirit and the rest of the minimizing mumbo djumbo (if we find Murat Tchundyk, I have to beginn with the Resizing Ritual).
(11) I thinka collaboration with Miss Professor Barbara E. will be very good. In between our workz I can teach her secretz of Kamel Sutré.
Mat Gundo, here as a member of the staff of Hamasheyk Institute, Carrot Department.


Hermann Finkelsteen hat gesagt…

Liebe Freunde und Freundinnen der UD,
wie heute aus den Polizeiakten der USA hervorgeht, spielte sich die Gefangennahme von Hamasheyk - Zurich ab. Machmoud M. hatte auch noch ein Busticket von Zurich nach Vaduz, Liechtenstein gelöst. Die Polizei geht davon aus, dass Machmoud, Sohn einer Minenarbeiterfamilie, die 5 Mio Euro von einem Moskauer Konto überwiesen bekommen hat auf ein Stiftungskonto " Help the poor."
Machmoud hat sich nach Augenzeugenberichten nach der landung in Kloten wieder beruhigt und sich bei den zwei Weissen für sein Verhalten entschudigt.
Uribistan Running News

barbara hat gesagt…

soso, welche ehre einen job angeboten zu bekommen, nachdem er vermurxt wurde. da muss der grosse geist ran und danach wird das institut umgepolt von genforschung auf die wirklich innovative bio-dynamische forschung, da liegen noch unmengen an ideen brach. am meisten könnten mich eventuell die pausenfüller reizen.

Mat Gundo hat gesagt…

Dearezt prof Barbara! Yes, we will hava great timez dizcovering new methodz of cowhornpreparation anda sunfilled bladderz hanging on the ceilingz!
But most highly timez we will hava in après anda in between-timez in the Hamasheyk Institute Gardenz anda Magix Roomz, dizcovering new methodz in Kamel Sutré, getting in highezt possible levelz of body anda mind!
Overstreamingz in all kindz of bodiez, Mat Gundo

Anonym hat gesagt…

Dearest lovely Barbara,

good that Hamasheyk has your advice now. It sounds that you, in fact, DO have a garden and the necessary experience about it.

Greetings :-)

Christoph hat gesagt…

Please take a look at the new ambassadorial note.