Juli 25, 2009

WHAT ABOUT INCREASING VIRILITY ANDA CONSUMPTION OF CAMEL STEAKS? AND: GARDEN OF EDEN SITUATED IN THE URIBI HIGHLANDZ!

Mat Gundo Reportz! Dearezt readers in our wide, good, beautiful and beloved Earth! Yes, todays public Kamel Sutré Days 2009 here in Uribistan make us very, very happy! Lotz of peoplez arrived in our country. And lotz of them, for the firzt time, they hava real Uribi experiencez. There is so much to see, so much to know about our people, about our history, politix anda spirituality! It is not only to say 'Magash' but also to say: 'Vânu Uribistan' (I like Uribistan!) anda thousand otha wordz in our olde language.
Ofcourse, this happens, there ara some stories about Uribi traditionz, which should be examined carefully! For example this one: eating camel steakz is very good for you, as a man you can increase your virility practicing Kamel Sutré. And indeed: we saw the firzt Europeanz (like Don Micele, hiz doggydog Lichtning Boy and even Green Lida River!) consumating Uribi poundz of camelmeat (ofcourse with literz of good Uribi beer!). Sorry boyz: thiz is not the truth! Thiz is a fairy tale in Uribistan, even HH. Murat Tchundyk believes in it (hohoho, sorry Murie, I must laugh her) - he comes from the Lowlandz. In the L owlandz peoplez believe this!
It is the following thingy: all fairytailz, all kindz of folktalez, have their originz in the real spiritual worldz!
Kamel Sutré is very, very olde. This technicz exists long before everything we know as kama sutra anda stuff like that. Kamel Sutré is made in very olde timez, in timez everything was aerogonous anda fluid. Timez, which are described in good bookz from our highezt spiritual shaman of the 20th century, here you can buy them (you can reada them in Djerman!). In those timez, first the human beingz became more anda more distance to the godz. Anda to come in contact with the godz they used Kamel Sutré. Ofcourse notice: everything was swinging in fluid elementz, our shapez were changing constantly! And then, at a sudden time, big crash came: being one human being before, now we were man anda woman. You can read thiz story here (in English) anda here (again some info in Djerman!) anda here interesting study about ideas of creation anda also dance (anda Kamel Sutré is kinda holy dance!).
Well, in this olde timez, after the separation of man anda woman, Kamel Su tré developed a new aspect: finding togetha, man anda woman in act of Kamel Sutré being one again anda in this state reaching world of godz anda saying 'hello' to godz. Yes, reaching paradise again. Anda, you can already guess: for all peoplez looking for the right place of the Garden Eden, it was not in Irak, not in Iran, it was anda it is, till now, in the Highlandz, in our beloved Uribistan! Adam and Eve are the firzt Uribi people!
Doing Kamel Sutré in a world slowly getting harder anda more fixed, our Adams anda Eves were looking for a nice soft underlay to do Kamel Sutré. In that times there was a lovely soft coated animal with beautiful eyes. Anda all the Eves liked to do Kamel Sutré with all the Adams on the back of this animal. In those times, as earth was getting harder, but everything was much more plastically as today (it is impossible to compare those times with our world today), after every Kamel Sutré session the straight back of our beloved animal was lida bit busted. In those days of plasticity it was no problem, but, after thousand of yearz, earth became fixed, the back of the animal kept busted.
What about the name of the animal? Well, if one of the Adams asked one of the Eves to make Kamel Sutré with him, he said something lika this (remember: in this beginning world, he did not spoke in the way we are doing today): 'Eve, let us do the camel.' And in all those years, it became the name of our animal: 'Camel'. So again you can see, it's the truth, written in the Bible: (Gen 2:19-20) '..and Adam gave names to all cattle..'
Now, dear reade r, you know the connection, this long and deep history, between Kamel Sutré and our dear camel. After thousandz of yearz the common inhabitantz of Uribistan forgot this, only a few highland adepts could give this knowledge from one generation to the other, by hearing it, by having an akasha experience, by doing Kamel Sutré. As a tribute to our camel, in the higher degreez of Kamel Sutré we are sitting on a soft camel coat. The story about eating camel steakz to increase our virility is a mistake! It is Uribi Lowland folktale!
At last, I have to unveil anotha great Uribi secret, it is only for you, tourist in Uribistan: if you want to eat a good camelsteak in Uribistan, just visit HH Murat Tchundyk - he will bless you, and his beautiful wife makes the best camel steaks of our beloved nation!
(you can make clicks on the pics to increase them. Look good at them, anda you find also real surprise!)

Kommentare:

Foersterliesel hat gesagt…

oh shamans tend to rivalize a lot!
anyway, old försterliesel does not care, i do not need virility, haha!
As i broke my ankle today mmorning (yes, really) I have to postpone my departure for Uribistan, but I start learning Uribi. Im looking forward to see and embrace you finally and feel well and secure in beloved Uribistan!

barbara2 hat gesagt…

also doch overcrowded, wie ich schon schrieb:-(
überraschungen niht entdeckt, aber eure story passt nicht so ganz zum männerfick;-)
herzlich
barbara

Foersterliesel hat gesagt…

sehr gut, jetzt ist alles anständig!
kein Schmuddeltourismus wird angelockt, sondern brave Kuckucksuhrensammler!