AFTER THE HEAVY AND SEVERE ATTACK ON OUR MINISTER FOR RECREATION, BIG TITTIES, SPAGHETTI, BOTTOX, MEDIA AND VIAGRA, MISTER BERLUSCONI, WE HAVE TO MAKE THE FOLLOWING RESTRICTIONS IN OUR CITIES FOR THE NEXT THREE WEEKS:
- RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES ARE FORBIDDEN! NO MORE THEATRE, SPORT & FOOTBALL AND SYLVESTERPARTIES!
- NO MORE BIG TITTIES ON TV, NIGHTCLUBS ARE CLOSED, EVERYBODY WITH BIG TITTIES HAS TO STAY AT HOME FROM 18.00 PM to 9.00 AM.(ONE EXCEPTION: IF IT'S POSSIBLE TO FIND AND CATCH MURAT TCHUNDYK WITH YOUR BIG TITTIES - YOU CAN USE THEM THE WHOLE DAY!)
- ALL PIZZA-TAXIS WILL BE CLOSED;
- ALLOWED ARE ONLY MEDIA (TV, RADIO; INTERNET,ETC.) CONTROLLED BY OUR MINISTER, MISTER BERLUSCONI;
- NO MORE BOTTOX TREATMENTS;
- VIAGRA IS FREE ONLY FOR MEMBERS OF THE GOUVERNMENT.
YOURS DEAR LEADER AND MAXIMO-GENERALISSIMO FAK HUE!
FAK HAIL!
To the People of the State of Uribistan. Here your Maximo Generalissimo and Dear Leader Fak Hue is speaking! Some dirty peoples are making riots in the streets of Hamasheyk! Stay in your homes! We will crush them away! Thea are enemies of our great Uribi Fak Hue Revolution! STAY IN YOUR HOME,if you don't want to get shot by those bastards!They came also in the house of our great online paper The Uribistan Daily. They could take away some codes to make a new header: DON'T BELIEVE THEM!If you see this man on the left in the header, this is the so called 'His Holyness' MURAT TCHUNDYK, a simple goatfarmer, worker and corrupted saler of Uribi goods and illegal women-transfers, living originally in the slums of Pritbong, a known small city in the Lowlands. Beware: THIS MAN IS DANGEROUS!On the right, you see his younger brother Marat Tchundyk. We know that he lives in this very moment in Djermanistan, telling bloody stories about Christmas. DON'T BELIEVE HIM. THIS MAN IS DANGEROUS TOO!Everybody giving us information about these cruel and dirty brothers: please go to the next police station!We keep this header on the Uribistan Daily a few days - just for you to remember these two bandits!EVERYBODY WORKING TOGETHER WITH THE TCHUNDYK BROTHERS WILL BE PUT IN PRISON IMMEDIATELY!Fak Hue, Maximo Generalissimo and his Administration.
